Here we go again. I had to call the police last night to get you to leave the house after a two-day binge. Marlie sat here and argued with you, the police tried to tell me you needed more treatment. At last you left on foot with your sleeping bag.
The bull headedness, just refusing to listing to anyone. Just want to stay here. It was just a slip.
But you don't believe in slips and neither do I.
Because I sent you out to work in the van.
Part of the process, you said. Well the process is going to keep going until you are in jail, dead or we're divorced.
The only options I have if you refuse to cooperate is to get you arrested and charge you with stealing money from our business account -- my account -- or let them search your van for paraphenalia, or claim I'm afraid of you - which I am -- or divorce you.
Which would you prefer? Or go to rehab. Or just go away.
Marlie asked me last night in the meeting "How do you feel?" I had to say I don't. I don't feel. I just have to keep working and keep solving the huge problems. It's like that reality show where the big floaties keep coming and the people have their vision and breathing obstructed with swim mask and fins keep them off kilter, stumbling and trying to avoid tripping. Eventually, most of them fall.
The kids are suffering. I'm suffering. You are too. Please please stop.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Post Rehab
Oohhh, no. Not again. After 7 weeks of detox and rehab, and a week of halfway house, only 90 days sober and you're gone. Not able to answer the phone, not calling in all day, not coming home from work.
I know you've called customers so the phone works. But you will not pick up my calls or call me. Because you can't or I'd know. What I don't want to know.
I told you the other day if you went back out I'd just go bankrupt, sell everything, leave and go live in Oklahoma near my family. I don't really think I will because I would probably have to leave a couple children here and they don't deserve that. But this is so bad. To think of all the time, money, tears spent helping you get sober and you're gone again.
This is going to hurt you a lot more than you realize.
Probably me too.
I know you've called customers so the phone works. But you will not pick up my calls or call me. Because you can't or I'd know. What I don't want to know.
I told you the other day if you went back out I'd just go bankrupt, sell everything, leave and go live in Oklahoma near my family. I don't really think I will because I would probably have to leave a couple children here and they don't deserve that. But this is so bad. To think of all the time, money, tears spent helping you get sober and you're gone again.
This is going to hurt you a lot more than you realize.
Probably me too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
