Have you ruined my life?

Sometimes I find myself thinking of all the ruin and destruction and pain you have caused with your drinking and drugging.  The anger and selfishness that follows you like a cloud of dirty smoke.  Stealing, lying, hurting your wife, your children, your mother, brother, your friends.  And you are the victim.

Every time I think "Wouldn't it be nice if he could be here and we could . . ". I remember that no, you wouldn't be here. You would be off in your own little world of using and selfishness . . . angry, bitter and alone.

You were gone almost all last year, and now I have a protective order for another year. I keep thinking could we possibly come back from this?  I know I can forgive, but can you quit?

that's the question.