SO - you got baptized today!

It sent a shock wave through the church this morning when you got up to be baptized. And apologized to me, the pastor and the whole church.  Most people were in tears - even some who have never met you.

It's funny that I have friends you've never met because you haven't been to church with me in about a year.

When you came and sat beside me and asked "Where have you been?" because I'm not sitting in our usual "spot" and you didn't see me, I thought "Where have YOU been?"

It was good. I was happy you were there.

But I'm still on guard that you won't stay - happy for you to be moving forward . . . happy you are doing well and look healthier. 

But our kids are still not willing to see you or have you around . . .. still have a ways to go.

So, you missed an awesome Christmas

It was great. I kept trying to imagine you being with us, an it kept getting harder and harder. LIke a ghost fading away in the morning, I couldn't even conjure up bad memories . . we were making new ones.

You so missed it.

 I did miss you. I had some bad moments, and I think it was awkward and hard for your mom and brother. They avoided me as much as possible. But the kids and I had a really good time, even with the Malaria aka the flu ish stuff. 

I heard you're not doing well.   I'll keep praying that God will get your attention and break through the demons screaming in your head. Maybe one day you'll just turn around and say shut up! to them.

love
  Me