From You to Me

5/12/09

Dear You

I got your letters this morning. Thanks for sending shirts and my notebook. I actually slept 6 hours straight last night.
I’ve read the letters several times today and I break down and cry each time I think of all the hurt I’ve caused. How can you ever forgive me but I too am hopeful because of God’s word that things can be restored.
I am truly sorry and I want to show you I can be the husband, friend and father everyone needs.
I can’t imagine life without you and our children. I do love you all. I want to sit and walk with and eat with and be with you all.

Thanks for all the scripture references. Some are the same ones I’ve been running across in all my step scripture study. I’ve done principles 1, 2, and 3 already. Just pouring myself into the recovery Bible. Seems to be doing the most help. Most of the stuff here just seems to be busy work and I don’t mean to be negative about it there are some benefits but let’s not go there right now.

You know I understand you can’t come on weekends. Don’t feel like you have to –just looking forward to graduation day.
6:30 Tuesday night Overcomers Meeting – these are ok, basically Christian 12 step.
I guess I still prefer Celebrate Recovery.
Love, Me

5/15/09
Dear S
Wow, it’s been 3 wks already, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
I called yesterday and missed you and got to talk to P. so that was great.

I hope you have a safe and enjoyable weekend in Nashville.
I’m really tired, still only getting about 2 hours of sleep a night. Last night I got at least 5 hours. It’s kind of good you’re not coming this weekend, that will give me the time to finish my first, secnd and third steps that need to be written out.Talk about Torture!

K, “Preacher Man” graduated today, but will remain as a Servant Leader. What a blessing that will be to have him here for good spiritual support.

Hope and pray that things are going a little better at the house. Thank God for D. helping out. A couple of nights ago I had a cool worshiping dream, just real quick but pretty neat. I can’t really explain it too well but I was looking down and saw me and D on the worship team and our joy was electric and I could see the connection between the two of us.

When I first got here Bruce asked me to do 3 things, I can’t remember the 1st 2. But the 3rd was to let God handle it at home, so it has been a little easy to do that most of the time, but sometimes it’s hard, but having to trust God that things will be ok, till I’m able to come home. Looking forward to that day and night.

It’s kind of weird because by the time you get this we’ll have talked but I guess I can’t tell you all these little things in just 10 minutes but you know how tough it is for me to put it to paper.
Love
Me